Therapeutic Values that may enhance life (Part 1: Creativity)
One day, maybe tomorrow or in 25 years you may end up in a difficult situation. Its statistically going to happen in some way, shape, or form. Loved ones will leave us, Jobs will be lost, something dreadful will someday be at our doorstep. This is not to scare you by any means, it’s just one of those things about life.
It doesn’t take long to scour the internet and social media to find mantras about better living. Ways to overcome dreadful scenarios and adversity. I often welcome anything positive to the fold that helps another human being in their journey through life. I find at times that older wisdom seldom misses the mark, even with modern problems. Below is one of three therapeutic values utilized from Logotherapy, an approach developed by Dr. Viktor Frankl some years ago. This is my opinion on how to utilize these values and what they represent to me, perhaps for you they may represent something entirely different. This first value welcomes the individual’s creativity fully, after all, everyone is creative in their own way.
Creativity- When said dreadful thing occurs in our lives are we to use our imagination and creativity? Is this not the whole basis of cognitive behavioral therapy and “reframing” certain situations? The old adage “ You don’t lose, you learn” type of reframe. For years poets, writers, artists posit that the creative person is never poor because they can always find something beautiful and meaningful inside of them and in their own worldview. In their own inner world they are wealthy based on their thoughts and imagination. If we utilize creativity as a value for mental betterment is this not the framework of reducing significant duress, even if it is momentary? I am not saying we need to harness are inner Dali or Picasso. What I am saying is that the spark hidden deep beyond the professionalism and seriousness of our adult selves may be lying dormant waiting to be thrown in the game of life. How do we initiate it?
Creativity and imagination are not something only children have. If we can imagine our bosses firing us then we can imagine the antithesis of negative outcomes. It does take practice though. Imagine something in your life that was noxious and it was a difficult time to process and endure. Let’s try a thought experiment. Spend 3-10 minutes pondering one significant positive thing that could of spawned from this past event. Just one. Below is a dialogue regarding the use of creative values from a fictionalized case. It is a difficult scenario and not the ultimate cure for everything, nothing really is. It is however a chance to dig deeper in our own lives outside of the pain and duress to find a silver lining. The creative and imaginative way of just one positive outcome. Looking inward with this lens may just help us to carry on the best we can. It may help us turn something truly awful into something fruitful for years to come.
Case Example
Client: This exercise is worthless, there are bad things that happen and sometimes there isn’t a benefit at all.
Therapist: Please go on, say more about this.
Client: Ok… My grandfather died last May. It was horrible. Seeing him in his casket, he was a powerful man in his day, respected by all. The wake was littered with a sea of tears for him.
Therapist: So he was deeply loved?
Client: Oh yeah, pfft. He was everything in his heyday. People came from all over. Old guys from his army Unit, even my ex-wife showed up. They were all a mess.
Therapist: What about you? Were you a “mess”?
Client: I could barely hold it together. He took me to my first Baseball game. He gave me his Ford Ranchero a few years back. He was like a second father to me. Someone so understanding and always had the answers. You know what I mean?
Therapist: I do know what you mean. It always hurts when we lose someone we love.
Client: Yes it does. Nothing good like I said, and now I am picking up the pieces and fragments of what he held together.
Therapist: Fragments?
Client: Yeah, my Aunties and my Mother loved him dearly. My Mother especially, she doesn’t get out much since his death so I try and go over there every week or so and make her dinner, spend time with her. Ya know.. to get her to smile.
Therapist: Was this a regular occurrence prior to your grandfather passing?
Client: My Mother??!! Never. She and I always butted heads.
Therapists: and what about now? Do you still butt heads?
Client: Come to think of it, it’s been a few months since we have had an issue. Now she texts me frequently and wants to know which day I’ll be over and what kind of dinner well
make together.
Therapist: What does that do for you to have this new relationship with your mother?
Client: Do for me? Like I’m not following along.
Therapist: My apologies, what I meant was.. What does this new relationship with your mother, whom it seemed it was rocky over the years. What does it mean to you that your relationship has grown with her?
(A bit of silence carries on, Therapist Leans in to grasp Client’s attention.)
Client: I guess I no longer see her as this infallible arrogant icon. She’s kind a shown me how she was barely holding it together over the years, and when Granddad died she lost it. I honestly felt the same a little while ago. On the wrong side of my 30s, divorced and god so much everyday bullshit it’s hard to keep my head straight. I see where she’s coming from now. What she also had to deal with when she was my age. Hell this is really the first time in my whole life we’ve actually talked to each other, instead of at each other.
Therapist: First Time? What’s that like?
Client: Its weird and kind a refreshing to see her as something different..
Therapist: What do you see her as? What’s the something different?
Client: I guess I expected so much from her growing up. I likely also blamed her a little for whenever my dad and her split. I know that was completely crazy thinking now that I’ve gone through it, but still. She was just trying her best.
Therapist: We have all likely thought like this when we were younger. These are groundbreaking conclusions, what lead you to these revelations?
Client: Honestly at the Wake is when I saw her differently. She burst into tears after viewing her Father. I was behind her when she turned and she fell into me… Sobbing uncontrollably…..embracing me. She was so distraught, and she held me for support. For a second It felt like we never had any bad blood.
Therapist: Say more about that second that you never had bad blood.
Client: it felt like none of the bullshit mattered. Like what were we ever arguing about for it to come to this? Grandpa is dead. Why did I waste so many years holding onto shit? I am the last man standing in her life.
(Tears started to flow from the Client’s face.)
Client: I dread the day I bury her.
(Therapist Nodding in silence)
Therapist: You’ve certainly unpacked a lot just now. How are you sitting with this?
Client: My Mother is currently on my mind. I’m thinking about what we’ll do for dinner next Thursday. She’s hinted at wanting to try out this new Italian place over by me.
Therapist: When you think of her right now. What emotions do you feel?
Client: I feel relieved. Relieved she’s alive and were talking actually.
Therapist: Hmm. All this content. I initially heard a sea of tears and now I’m filled with warmth from the connection you and your mother are sharing.
Client: yea… it’s kind a crazy
Therapist: Crazy how?
Client: That something so terrible can bring people together.
Therapist: Almost like something positive can come out of something horrible?
(Client looks downward in a pensive manner)
Client: Almost….like it.
In this dialogue we explored the interconnecting factors of the Client’s duress. The initial horrific experience of losing someone he truly valued and loves. Gone into the embers of eternity. Pealing back the layers carefully and slowly we find some relationships where the Client rekindles. Would he have rekindled such a valuable relationship had his Grandfather not passed? Who knows honestly. Could the argument be made that if we look hard enough, and peel back some of our baser feelings that we can find some beauty amidst the pain?
I believe we can. It just takes a mild amount of courage, patience and a tinge of curiosity for self-exploration. Everything is difficult at first, and turning a bad situation, time or place into something less destructive is no different. It starts off slowly and has tons of mishaps at first. Through trial and error we may even find ourselves navigating through some of the worst despairs imaginable. This creative light that was buried beneath our ego, hidden away in the crawl space of our mind may take up residence somewhere in close proximity to our everyday lives.